You’re on your own kid, you always have been.
The enjoyment of doing things of your own.
Reflecting on my previous articles, I have noticed a more positive mindset emerging. While I still stand by my previous viewpoints, I wanted to focus on something that has been on my mind lately — a more uplifting topic. Specifically, I want to emphasize the joys of doing things on your own. Despite the stigma attached to going solo, I believe that pursuing activities solo can be fantastic.
Many people are afraid of being judged by others, especially when they see social media posts of people socializing and having fun. We often share the highlights of our lives on social media, and what better way to do so than by posting photos of ourselves with others? Studies have found that looking at group photos can significantly improve one's happiness while viewing selfies (either alone or with others) has a negative effect (Crockett, 2016). This suggests that, despite our efforts not to judge, we are wired to worry or judge someone who appears to be alone.
What exactly is the Stigma? In my opinion, it’s the misconception that one is lonely or antisocial. This is certainly not the case, unless, of course, you deliberately choose not to socialize with others. There are instances, such as at concerts or events, where you may unexpectedly meet new people or engage in conversations. If you ever feel nervous or anxious about going out alone, there are numerous online resources available to help you overcome these feelings. However, it can be challenging to ignore the fear of being judged by others. According to an article by the Metro, research shows that people may enjoy solo activities just as much as they would with company, despite their initial apprehensions (Scott,2015). Almost every article I’ve read online ends with the same advice: don’t let others hold you back and have fun. From another perspective, it’s unlikely you’ll see them again. So what’s the point?
I am at the point where I don’t even think or worry about going solo. Whether I want to attend an event, concert, or even the cinema, I prefer to go and enjoy myself rather than miss out on the experience. Would the company be incredible, of course, but would I rather attend than miss out? As stated in my first article Why I Have 0 Friends, I still stand by everything stated. The number of times I have been left of read(even when they post the message as they are bored), met people then never saw them again, or tried to meet new people and never works out. This is all stated in the previous article mentioned and it’s depressing that nothing has in fact changed. But hey, at least now I have an article that I can reference when I need some sympathy! Though this way of thinking has massively improved my happiness as I am getting out there and enjoying things and have no plan of stopping.
In addition, when going to events alone, you become more aware of others around you. I have attended numerous gatherings where I have noticed many others flying solo, which puts me at ease. It’s not just me, as HuffPost has reported that “nine out of ten UK adults are comfortable being alone” and “40%of individuals do not mind going to the pub alone” (although that’s not my preference) (Peat,2016.) Despite others’ comments about going alone, it’s important to consider that many people in society are choosing to do so.
In my last year’s article, I shared my struggles with achieving my dreams, and unfortunately, I still haven’t made much progress towards them. Because I am extremely determined and have always placed happiness over money but this has taken a tremendous toll on me and many others. I can’t picture any other options while remaining hopeful as I’ve adopted a mindset of not worrying about it too much, which has led me to have some truly rewarding experiences. When I hit the lowest point these opportunities spring my mood back up while I find it comforting to know that 91.39% of worries never come true on average (Kageyam). Even though I’m far from where I want to be, I have to keep working hard to get there, enjoy life to the fullest, and have fun even if it means being solo. In the meantime, I am searching for a creative job and I acknowledge that what I am doing may not be sustainable in the long run. It’s like taking a road trip without a map. You don’t know where you’re going, but you’re enjoying the journey along the way. You may take a few wrong turns, but eventually, you’ll find your way and reach your destination. However, for now, I am satisfied knowing I will get there eventually (hopefully.) All I am wanting is a sense of direction, a new job, new friends, and a winning lottery ticket. What could be easier?
In conclusion, this year’s outlook has been much more positive compared to the previous years. Although some argue that nothing has changed, I believe that focusing on the positives has been helpful. I hope that next year’s update will continue to be positive and that there will be significant changes. But for now, I am content.
A depressing update
Content…no more? In just a few days, I find myself back at square one once again. While I am trying not to let it get to me, it’s becoming increasingly difficult as I see no progress and potentially falling backwards. Despite this, I won’t let it ruin my ‘social life’ or fun. However, I’m frustrated with the waiting and the desire for immediate change. It is a sad thought when you ran out of things to write in your article as after 2 years of doing this nothing drastic has changed…what am I doing wrong?
References.
Ellen Scott. (2015). Seriously, why are we so scared of going to the cinema alone? Available from: https://metro.co.uk/2015/10/20/seriously-why-are-we-so-scared-of-going-to-the-cinema-alone-5445847/. [Accessed: 1/6/2023].
Moya Crockett. (2016). https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/science-social-media-self-esteem-happiness-confidence-research-viewing-penn-state-psychology/66687. Available from: https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/science-social-media-self-esteem-happiness-confidence-research-viewing-penn-state-psychology/66687. [Accessed: 30/5/2023].
Jack Peat. (2016). Why Is There A Social Stigma Around Doing Things Alone? Available from: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jack-peat/why-is-there-a-social-sti_b_11991550.html. [Accessed: 31/5/2023].
Noa Kageyama. (2023). How Many of Our Worries Actually Come True? Available from: https://bulletproofmusician.com/how-many-of-our-worries-actually-come-true/#:~:text=Well%2C%20as%20it%20turns%20out,of%20their%20worries%20came%20true.. [Accessed: 1/6/2023].